Celebrity Deaths

Here's our review of the most recent celebrity deaths within the music world.

Jack Rose - December 5th 2009 - Heart Attack
At 38 Rose had already made shit loads of albums - and he receives bonus points for a posthumous release, which I always take to mean an afterlife ejaculation. He still had some good tastes in music and a two-syllable name which I'm always a fan of.
thumbs up

Vic Chesnutt - December 25th 2009 - Muscle Relaxant Overdose
Best way to die ever? Muscle relaxant overdose on Christmas Day! Although he was halfway dead after being paralysed in the eighties, he did well to push it to 45. Fair fucks.
thumbs up

Rowland S. Howard - December 30th 2009 - Liver Cancer
'Liver cancer' is Scientologist for 'Party animal', and the guy was in Birthday Party so he's going to have had a better life than any of you. Plus points for also being the oldest death on this list at 50, minus points for the fucking retarded spelling of Roland.
thumbs up

Jay Reatard - January 13th 2009 - Unknown as of now
Youngest death on the list at 29, and an unknown death (probably caused by an addiction to release records). Blood Visions is fucking great though, hopefully he died of something really fun and drugged up like, I don't know, swallowing an entire helium balloon filled with food colourings.
thumbs up

Special mention to Vic Chesnutt's wheelchair buddy Teddy Pendergrass (thumbs up), my dream mother Brittany Murphy (thumbs up) and Daily Mail-enemy, AIDS-producing, all-round venomous Irishman Stephen Gately (thumbs down).